Embracing Comfort in Time of Loss: The Cosentino Family Story

With the help of Samaritan’s Center for Grief Support,  a loving husband and his two young daughters remember happy family times and stay strong for each other.

Michael Cosentino’s version of “How I Met Your Mother” is the stuff of Hollywood screenplays. While “hanging out” with buddies at TGI Friday’s in 1997, a female friend challenged the painfully shy IT guy to point out the girl he’d like to date “if only he had the nerve to ask.” His friend walked over to the tall blond, broke the ice and introduced them. Michael married Kathy Friel, the love of his life, two years later.

(Click here to watch video interview)

REMEMBERING HAPPY TIMES: (left to right) Olivia, Michael and Katie Cosentino

Life was good. Kathy became a law partner at Shimberg and Friel. She and Michael welcomed daughters Katie and Olivia. But the dream shattered in 2007 when Kathy was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. By October 2010, Dr. Generosa Grana at Cooper recommended the family spend as much time as possible making memories and that they call Samaritan for hospice help.

Bittersweet trips to Washington, DC and Hershey Park followed. Michael says, “Dr. Grana had never steered us wrong, so we made the Samaritan call in November.” Katie and Olivia, now 10 and 7 years old, remember the nice people from Samaritan who came to help take care of their mommy, daddy and them, especially nurse Anna Kitz (whom the girls affectionately dubbed “Anna Banana” with her blessing), bereavement counselor Kathy Kehoe (Miss Kathy K.) and massage therapist Karen Pericles.

Kathy lost her battle three weeks before Christmas at age 41.

Miss Kathy K. continued her visits with Michael and the girls. At her suggestion, he attended Early Endings, Samaritan’s support group for those grieving the loss of a young spouse. “It was so helpful to talk to others in the same boat. The sessions helped us grieve, but also asked us to imagine a more hopeful time five years from now.” Olivia attended Big Hurts, Little Tears, Samaritan’s group for 3-5 year olds. She made a special memory box – an activity that Kathy K. repeated with Katie.

Each girl’s box, decorated with significant colors and stickers, held carefully chosen treasures. “Mommy was a UNC Tarheels fan,” says Katie, explaining her blue-colored choices. Olivia proudly displays the necklace she strung with the words “Olivia” and “Mom,” the preschool graduation card from her mom,and a favorite photo with her mom from a trip to Disney World. From her box, Katie lifts out items to mark the season her mom died – a snowflake cutout, a gingerbread man picture and the memorial card from her mom’s funeral. Each girl shows a crucifix (or “church necklace”) that belonged to her mom – a gift from Kathy’s mother who has helped take care of them all.

For now, the family focuses on supporting each other. Michael says, “The girls keep me moving. I’m grateful and blessed to have them and to see their mother’s traits in each of them – her beauty, her independence, her strength.” The girls, too, appreciate their dad. Says Katie, “Daddy plans his work so he can take us places and come to things like Field Day. We all take care of each other.

Samaritan’s Center for Grief Support offers individual, group and family counseling. For more information, please call (856) 596-8550.